How to choose what will make you happy?

Photo by Gabriela Palai on Pexels.com

“Try it! Unless you try it, you will never know the pleasures it will give you!” I hear this repeated regarding a number of decisions we are forced to make by an unconscious society – they force us to ‘try’ educational choices, ‘try’ career options, ‘try’ marriage, ‘try’ drugs, ‘try’ unhappiness.

Indeed, how do we know what makes us happy, before we even commit to an action? How do we know if something will drive us crazy before we commit to it?

Some people jump off a cliff and enjoy bungee jumping. Some step back in aversion (I say aversion, not fear).

People who force you to do things usually judge your happiness by their own. They judge your sadness by their own. They find it difficult to accept and understand that you may be different, that you may have a different life purpose, a different calling in life.

They fail to realize that certain decisions like marriage, drugs or alcohol are life changing, one-way paths to a prison for your soul. They fail to realize that you can have different thoughts from they. They fail to accept you as an individual, for they do not realize themselves as individuals. People who have never completed their own process of individuation and separateness can never see the same in others.

It is not commonalities that bind us to others, but our isolation. The more isolated we feel from our friends, family, peers and society, the more we learn to accept and appreciate our unique differences.

And we come back to our original question: how do we know? Who is telling us we will be unhappy?

We can either learn from our own mistakes or the mistakes of others. Those who listen to external voices and pressures seldom experience bliss. Such foolish people ask questions such as if five people jump off a cliff and die, how do you know you will die too? They encourage you to jump off the cliff too. They encourage you to look at one side of the equation- the joy of jumping and ignore the death imminent below.

Such people lead unconscious, shallow, artificial lives and fail to see the truth in others. They fail to understand that what make our lives are not situations, but how we respond to them. Since they live lives running from the truth, they close their own eyes and encourage you to close your eyes as well.

They see freedom as doing what everyone else is doing, not in trying something new. They see happiness as following others’ paths even if they lead nowhere, for they know no other path.

Thus, we arrive at a few critical questions:

  • If a path is right for everyone, why is everyone not equally happy on that path? (Education choices, marriage, drugs, alcohol, food, living situation)
  • If that path is not right for everyone, why should you not choose another path?
  • Will a new path guarantee that you will be happy? Not really.
  • If so, why choose a different path, when there is no more guarantee of you being happy, compared to the standard path that others have taken?
  • What is different in the sadness you experience on your own path, as compared to the sadness you experience on another’s path (that you were forced into)?
  • The only difference is that on your own path – you have the ability to accept what comes your way.
  • Experiencing sadness on another’s path leads to blame, regret and suffering. Experiencing happiness on another’s path leads to you manipulating others and forcing others to follow that path, just like you were forced earlier. Suffering inside you creates more suffering in others – passing it on from generation to generation.
  • The only way to cease suffering, sorrow and unhappiness is to break free of forcing others to follow the path you choose. The only way to stop forcing others is by choosing your own path. The only way to choose your own path is by finding yourself.

Thus, you transform your consciousness to a higher state:

  • You break your family and peers’ cycle of suffering and choose your own path, consciously.
  • You accept the choices you made and own both, the happiness you receive and the sadness you receive.
  • The peace you achieve by accepting the path you have chosen through separateness will help you encourage others to find their own path, and not create any further ‘first-hand’ suffering.

True peace does not come from the ability to choose our life path, but from the ability to accept the rewards and consequences of our life path. When you blame no one for your choices, you achieve peace. Peace is responsibility, responsibility is freedom, freedom is choice, choice is listening to your inner voice- your soul.

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