Before going ahead, this is not an article that takes a feminist point of view or argues about biological vs. moral constructs. This article is for those of us who accept and love our sexuality the way it is. Genders as we know them are different but equal. Equal does not mean same, and as men and women, we experience life differently, and those differences are what make the world beautiful. This article is one version of the truth and may not resonate with you. There are many truths out there – as always, I encourage everyone to find his/ her own truth and thereby inner peace.
Every woman has inside her a man, and every man has inside him a woman. These two parts play together to create externally what we call men and women. Meditation, self-realization and doing meaningful work are but a few ways to realize the truth of who we are. But there is no more deeply-felt experience than childbirth, which is realized differently by men and women. Parents, male and female, find meaning through their children, through an outpouring of love or by using their children to achieve their dreams, whether rightfully or wrongfully so.
Man and woman come together to find companionship, attracted by what they do not perceive within themselves. Men who have found the truth within their feminine (or anima) will cease to need women to fulfil their needs. Women who have found the truth within their masculine natures will cease to need men to fulfil their needs.
All of us are on different points of maturity in our life paths and cycles. Consequently, many men and women find attraction a natural route to finding meaning and fulfilment. As men and women come together, they make love. Man releases his sperm into Woman, where it is received by the egg and forms into a zygote.
Men who procreate thus, define themselves by their giving energy. They give away a part of themselves in the hope of creating something new. And yet, that very sperm is generated by the food he eats, which is produced by the soil, which is in turn fertilized by cattle manure, which in turn was produced by cattle eating plants that grew from the soil. Thus, man partakes of the world, to not produce something new, but to re-produce what was already existent in a new form (sperm).
Similarly, women create eggs through their food, which in turn came from the soil, which was fertilized through cattle manure, which in turn was produced by cattle eating plants that grew from the soil. Thus, woman partakes of the world to not produce something new, but re-produce, what was already existent, in a new form (egg).
Thus, sperm and egg are not part of Man or Woman, but actually the external world re-manifesting itself within Man and Woman. This external world then further interacts through sex, where the sperm fertilizes the egg and creates a zygote and thereafter a foetus. As can be seen, given that both sperm and egg do not belong to the parents, neither can the foetus. And thus, a separate manifestation of the universe is created within the womb.
Woman experiences this more personally, given her uterus is the crucible for this transformation. Her body is for a time inseparable from the foetus, and thus Woman can often mistake the foetus for being a part of herself. But while the foetus is bodily part of Woman, it eventually separates creating its own body and sustaining itself. When Woman sees this separation, she remembers only the earlier fusion of her body with the foetus, and this creates the illusion (Maya) that her child is a part of her, just as there was the illusion that her egg was part of her. When Woman’s body is created through ingesting food from the outside, and when her body’s cells die and regenerate many times across her life (including skin, bones, red cells, white cells), it follows that Woman’s body itself is also not her own, but is merely a different form of energies from the external world.
Thus, by meditating (this is not thinking, but by relaxed observation), Woman realizes her body is not hers, and never was. Her eggs were not hers and never were. And thus, her child is also not hers, and never will be. Then, one can ask, what DOES belong to Woman? In a nutshell, nothing. But then we have used the phrase, “her” body- which implies there is still an owner inside Woman- we call this the soul.
When Woman realizes thus that the only part of her existence that is stable is her soul, and that every part of her body is constantly being washed and refreshed anew, she realizes her body is merely a river (or channel) that is collecting “water” from the outside world in the form of food or sperm, which is being washed away into the “sea” in the form of skin cells, menstrual blood, and even children. Thus, Woman becomes a mere observer – she realizes stillness in the stability of her soul and quietly observes the attachment of matter to her soul (in the form of body, sperm, foetus) and detachment of matter from her soul (in the forms mentioned above).
Man, too goes through a similar process, but is more detached as he does not experience the bodily attachment and detachment of menses or children from the womb. Thus, there are a lot more articles out there advising solitude and meditation for Man, for he realizes himself through independence and detachment.
For Woman, detachment is harder to realize, given the bodily attachments created through the cycle of life. And thus, Woman realizes her truest deepest self through going deeper into her Attachments. Just as the world attaches itself to Woman, people too have historically placed expectations on Woman, in one form or the other. Women who receive easily, who wish to please and be peaceful, find it difficult to realize their true selves in the flood of such societal expectations.
But then, we see that just as the body, and children themselves are not the truest parts of Woman, external expectations and thoughts are also not part of Woman. Just as food attaches itself to Woman’s body to create matter and lets go of Woman as cells, menses and children; societal thoughts attach themselves to Woman’s mind and can easily be let go – all that Woman needs to do is to meditate and observe the external nature of these thoughts and expectations, and allow them to flow back (wash away) into the world in the form of a river.
By understanding the many parts of her outer self and its creation, Woman thus comes to realize that she is not responsible for whether she is beautiful or not (she has no control over the formation of her body- the world attributes beauty to her if it wants to). Woman comes to realize she is not responsible for whether she is competent or not (the world attaches expectations to her, whenever they want to). Woman comes to realize she is not her children (they attached themselves to her, and left her when the time was right).
The above Detachment does not remove compassion, but the realization of truth frees Woman to not take life’s events personally, and love her children for who they truly are as independent souls (and not out of biological obligation because they are part of her). Detachment frees Woman to adopt if she wishes to, for her body is no different from any child on the street (for both were created by the same Universe). If her body is no different from any child on the street, then Woman realizes that her body is no different from any child on the planet, irrespective of gender or race (for all were created by the same Universe).
Both male and female children are created within Woman’s womb, and thus male and female are both part of Woman. Thus, Woman realizes that gender is merely a form that the Universe has taken to make things easy for reproducing itself (Universe). Thus, Woman stops worrying about whether her gender is right or wrong, treated fairly or unfairly, or whether she should do something or not. Woman realizes she creates children whose potential is as yet undefined and needs to be discovered through play, exploration, teaching and compassion. Thus, she realizes her potential (due to her body linked to her children) is also undefined and is open to discovery and exploration.
Are there limits to what Woman can do? Yes. But those limits are not something that need to be defined by external factors, but are to be discovered by Woman herself. Some women may find their talents lie in education, while some other women may find learning difficult. Limits are not wrong; limits define the shape and boundaries of your body and mind. The important thing is to discover those limitations by exploring the most of yourself and trying out as many things as you can, rather than letting anyone else define them for you.
Woman realizes that however competent or incompetent she is in this world, that competence is just a form taken by the universe to attach itself to her soul. But her soul itself has neither capability nor limitation.
Thus, Woman by experiencing her deepest fears, pains, flaws, experiences and attachments, comes to realize her true self independent of her body, thoughts and mind. She comes to connect to the soul within. In realizing her soul, she comes to realize Truth and thereby Enlightenment (Moksha, Nirvana or Heaven).